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A Total Apprehension of God

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in early thirties
Current location:  United Kingdom
Age at time of experience:  18

It came at a time of great spiritual upheaval.  I had begun to explore new religions and was thinking deeply about the future.  I remember lying flat on my back in bed.  It was late at night, maybe midnight or one in the morning, and I had a CD Walkman playing music in my ears quietly (I remember that the music was called Drifting Away by The Prodigy).

I was praying and asking God for a connection to It.  In my mind’s eye the image of a triangle of light appeared and then I felt just a total apprehension of God, as though something that I normally cannot gain access to allowed me in.  It lasted for a few minutes and then started to fade away.  At the moment I absolutely knew that God was there and at times of great difficulty I've remembered that experience. 

Immediately afterwards I drifted off to sleep and woke the next day with a strong sense of well-being. While the experience was, in the proper sense, awesome, it also had a tinge of fear to it.  I felt myself resisting quite a little as if I “went into it” I wouldn't return.

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